I tend to be one of those people who proclaim emphatically to not share your heart on your blog...but here goes nothing...
Over the last year I have lost an intense amount of friends. You know how you know when the Lord is teaching you something? Like you rebuke the devil while in all honesty you are really pleading for mercy...
I realized through all my loneliness that it's a God-given longing to desire intimate friends. That the Lord has so much to teach us through the joys and trials of pain in relationships. That intimacy truly breeds intercession and intercession intimacy. That regardless of how close the friend is it tears you up on the inside to think of losing them.
Suddenly I got a glimpse of the Lord. How earnestly his heart yearns for me to be near him. How he never stops crying out for me in my failures. How he covers me when I fall and rewards me when I stand. How deeply he desires my friends and enemies. Behold how much longing there is in the cross. And how patient he is in waiting to return to have me entirely.
Above all else I want him. No matter how many friends I lose, I am not a failure as long as I remain in Christ. And i trust his ability to lead me way beyond my ability to follow.
How desperately I need him. How desperately we all need him.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
i am so stinking proud of you at this very moment...
and i'd much rather read that sort of post (even if this condemns me as one of those people) than something cut and dry. i like your heart. i can connect with it, especially when it speaks of Jesus. and writing is art. if we write only about details and never the underlying beauty, we miss out on such an easy chance to go deep and discover. i'm totally cool with random-joe coming to my blog if that means he reads how Jesus has revealed himself to me or how my life is changing because of the cross and it winds up impacting aforementioned-random-joe profoundly.
i identify with most of your post greatly; all the friends i had before i moved here are now gone (save for maybe three total people, and those relationships are nothing like they used to be) and a few of the people i ran with when i first got here are now not-so-much in my life. i think about those people a whole lot, and i long for relationship--if not with them, then with others. i need to hear that someone cares about me, i need to see a reflection of Christ in the eyes of another being, to commune with the Jesus inside someone else and be reminded that i am not in this alone even when i feel utterly alone.
funny how it's always the Christ in man that i am in need of when it comes right down to it. i need love (God). i need truth (Jesus). i need interaction and challenge (Holy Spirit). i find these things in man because i am around people all day long, but my soul still longs for a real encounter with God.
"above all else, give me yourself..." so true... may he find you in the night, my friend, and show you his kindness and love.
Post a Comment